I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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