I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There's always time for handjobs
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize