so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
