Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
