No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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