There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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