I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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