census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just found puke in my bra..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
