My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
