nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
