She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
