It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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