My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
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The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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