Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
