the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
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at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
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I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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