She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
