Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
