i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
