Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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