Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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