drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
