Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize