Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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