no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
