the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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