matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I need help removing her.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
