i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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