My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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