PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
