So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
