problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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