jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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