somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
