My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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