If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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