So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
