the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
