Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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