So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize