Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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