would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize