So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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