I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
