Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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