And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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