Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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