I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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