Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize