Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
