hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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