you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
