that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
