ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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