420 ftw
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
