How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
