I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Boobs are out for the taking
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize