"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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